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The Gypsy

I sleep outside churches - there isn’t a moment I’m sober. I’ve perfected the English language over the years by reading newspapers that I find in the bin. I don’t go to school and I live in a caravan.
I’ve got a muscular physique built up over the years from robbing corner shops and doing press ups in the back of my dads booshank caravan.
All the girls love me, I’m a mix between Ronan Keating and Davina McCall.

So I am definitely not going to settle for ugly girls, unless they’re blonde and busty I am not interested!

One thing I really hate is being chased by priests with a broomstick! By the way Mike Tyson was framed I am the one who bit off Evan Holyfield's ear, I was hungry!

Don't look at me the wrong way or I'll throw acid in your face!

Every Month I will display Top Five lists, this months top five list is as follows

Top Five Germans.

5. David Hasslehoff
4. Hitler
3. Boris Becker
2. Jurgen Klinsmann
1. Queen Elizabeth II


Top Five Gays.

5. Eminem
4. Boy George
3. George Michael
2. Hulk Hogan
1. Elton John


Top Five Lame Movies.

5. Pretty Woman
4. Ernest Goes To Camp
3. Air Force One
2. Big Trouble In Little China
1. Spice World


Top Five Cusses.

5. ‘Your mum!’
4. ‘You Bum Bandit!’
3. ‘You Knob Jockey!’
2. ‘Rumbatumbalumbaclat!’
1. ‘You Jafaikan!’

I have to go now, my dads calling me to push start his three wheeled van.

Holland Parke School News:     Headmaster hopes the chalk thief reveals his identity, he will not punish this individual he just wants to have a friendly chat with him                  Shock as dinner lady is caught excreting in chocolate Ice Cream                      Rabbi Cokh voted sexiest teacher of the year                        Master John Bater mugged outside pizza shop                         No more toilet paper in school toilet, Headmaster says they're being used for masturbation purposes                                Inspectors day on the 16th please could everyone be on their best behaviour so no one could know what a shit school it really is                          Aligator on the loose in the school swimming pool                           The BBC is filiming a documentary near the school entitled "The drugged up ganglord"                      Broken Piano replaced, students are advised not to have sex on Piano again                            Headmaster urges the student who sneezed outside his office at August 23rd to give himself in, anyone with further information please contact reception                  Last chance to hand over school calendars or face a death sentence                            School Main computer room covered in faeces  

2003 © Holland Parke School