Hello, this is the headmaster, thank you for dropping by to see how my school is doing. Even though I celebrate the fact that you are here I must inform you that you must be in an appropriate mental state to enjoy our newsletters. If you are a deranged lunatic, or, a person who loves to be shocked and then wants to complain about things, then you have every right to leave and never show your face around here again. First of all I would like to tell you that the school is managing fine and that we are not in a budget crisis, the people who have spread these rumours are sad little fools. They should report back to my office for beheading, failing that they will be stoned to death.

Now I will run through the rules:

1. We are not responsible if you cry while reading our newsletters, you are responsible for secreting your own tears.

2. We are not responsible if the newsletters anger you in any way, you are responsible for your own stressors. Remember only you can make you angry so don't beat yourself up, slowly take your hand off the mouse, turn the monitor off, and walk away.

3. If you find any of the material objectionable please see the letters page to send us a message.

4. If you send us letters, you can use bad language, anything you please, so go nuts!

5. If you send us mail you have agreed to let us display them on our site, in the student letters section.

6. We will not tolerate spam, as you all know spam is annoying as hell! We will report your I.P address if you choose to take that route. So bon Voyage.

7. By entering this site you have agreed to be in a sound mental state. This means you can't get upset, because you are open minded and know this site is a parody.

8. You are not allowed to copy anything from this site, or use any of the ideas for your webpage, this site is copyrighted!