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Newsletter 2 Letters

Here are the letters students have submitted along with our replies:

Letter One

Editors reply:

Another thoughtful person who wants to share his opinions with the us, thank you so much for your message!

You're honesty is most appreciated, this is why we've made this website for people like you who have the courtesy to give some positive feedback.

"i don't expect everyone to understand the humour of this site..."

Neither do we, I mean try watching Graham Norton, there are so many people who like that guy, I'm not one of them.

All he does is talk about "Big Brother", tell you who you should vote out, then he makes fun out of his audience who laugh at anything. He keeps repeating himself,  e.g. "Leave it"

This guy has no material, before every show his manager tells him to act queer and talk about "Big Brother".

That's comedy for ya!

"1)although this site is a joke, alot of truth is said in jest, and 2)it has taken the creator/s alot of through thinking to highlight the main things which are fucked up in the school in question"

Listen to this guy folks he is an expert! As for those people who don't like the site we don't take much notice of them, they can buff our pickle.  

Letter Two

Editors reply:

Hi, how are you? Nice e-mail address, does it exist? That doesn't matter though because the rest of your e-mail sounds authentic.

"either shut this site down or I will have to shut it down myself."

Sorry sir but you don't run this site, you run a school, now go back to running it properly before your school shuts down.

Leave our site to us, you do your job, which is spending the entire schools budget on your office and treating the deputy head as your slave.

"its sexist, homophobic, and doesn’t portray the school in anyway"

Sexist and homophobic? Are you trying to tell me these things don't go on in your school?

"Take this as your first warning, you are being watched!"

Oh I'm shaking in my slippers.

"We know who you are, all I need to make are two phone calls and you’ll be in jail."

Good! Lets make a deal you either put me in jail or I carry on making fun out of your big nose.

The site will live on, and when you finally get sacked no one will know who you are, you'd be begging us to make you famous again.

Letter Three

Editors reply:

Well Fuck You!!!  

Letter Four

Editors reply:

Yes and what are you going to do about it? Exactly, Nothing! Now go back into your crawl space.

Letter Five

Editors reply:

Shut up tough guy! This the thing you know, people, they're so tough on the phone, so tough on the internet.

Stay in your fantasy cyber world, if you know who I am, I suggest you put your keyboard down and knock me out like you said you'd do.

"Look at you man some fucking geek now you have a site, well done man! Who cares?"

I don't care if you don't like this site, I'm not talking to hoes like you, I'm talking to the people who understand our cause.

Whether I'm a geek or not isn't the issue, the issue is whether you're a geek, taking time out just to threaten someone physically on the internet just for some sexual relief.

"Remember at school when I used to fuck you up?"

Well maybe if you introduced who you are I would know but because this e-mail you sent is complete bullshit, you knew there's no evidence to back it up.

If this is meant to be funny, you can go back to eating a bowl of dicks.

"Your life was tragedy now you feel a bit more self-assured so you make this site."

You are such a macho man, are you also trying to bully me on the internet? First time I hear of bullying on the internet.

My life was a real tragedy because you used to bully me everyday, and take my money, are you happy now?

Maybe you're asking to cyber with me some sort of fetish you have. Where we're engaging in role-play, you're the bully and I'm the victim, hope that's provided you with enough sexual relief.

"Fuck this site too fucking slice your neck wwatch your back motherfucker!!!"

Ok its my turn to act tough. Bitch I'll come down with a Samurai sword, practice my chopping skills on your mum's tits, damn it, I'm a pro.

Smoked some weed with my home boys, and hanged around my bitches. See you bopping in the street I will attack, chop and hack, as soon as you speak to me, I'll fuck you up like Bruce Lee, see you in reality you're a just a pussy.

Don't be running around giving gangster's a bad name, I'll fuck you up for that, bitch this ain't no fucking game.

You just want to get yourself hurt, fucking bury a mugshot in you, Goddamn I'm fucking ruthless!

You see how easy it is? Now the tough guy out of us will actually carry out these empty threats.

Letter Six

Editors reply:

Don't you fucking dare use CAPS on my site!

This is getting boring I'm beginning to think its the same idiot who sent the e-mail above. Ok I remember your e-mail address from the previous newsletter when you were praising this site. You said you liked Master John Bater, now all the sudden you want to kill us. Talk about multiple personality, you need some professional counselling.

I encourage people to e-mail him and wait about 3 working days and then we'll be dead, just like he promised.

"NO ONE CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN THE POLICE!!!"

You're right, no one can stop you from ejaculating all over your already sticky keyboard.

Letter Seven

Editors reply:

Listen kid! That's not going to look good on your CV the whole neck cutting thing, if you know where I live come to my house immediately, otherwise stop hiding on the internet.

Letter Eight

Editors reply:

"The next time you’ll seem me will be just before you die"

Next time I seem you? If you mean the next time you see me you'll actually kill me, then good luck to you sir.

I hope you kill me, otherwise you can go back to tongue kissing your girlfriend after she's sucked my dick.

Letter Nine

Editors reply:

Hi, we will send you a prospectus ASAP, but we would prefer if you would use a stamp next time, so how about you lick the stamp and stick it on your sons dick!

Letter Ten

Editors reply:

Bad boy, you must be a real tough guy otherwise you wouldn't be sending us physical threats by e-mail.

"you see yourself jacking off to Justin Timberlake and shemale porn, day in day out, what a shit life you have"

Out of all the most stupidest accusations I've heard this one is definitely true!

Since you know a lot about my life maybe you should write my autobiography, can you include the part when I came all over your face please?

"shame your life is about to end soon."

After so many death threats I have a suspicion that I don't have a long time to live. My life is slowly coming to an end, I feel so important that so many people want to kill me kind of like Tupac.

Letter Eleven

Editors reply:

What's up? You couldn't hold in your frustration any longer? If my site sucks then I suppose it does, if its not listed on Google "the No.1 search engine" then I suppose it isn't. Has that got anything to do with you? I don't think so.

If you don't like this site don't visit it, I don't understand why you would take the time to send us this e-mail if you hate our site.

"no wonder why its not listed on GOOGLE The No.1 Search engine baby!"

Do you actually work for Google? You can go and suck their dick.

"This site will only last for a couple more months before the free host decides to drop your site."

Our site has been running for less than 6 months and we have had more than 800 hits despite no exposure and not being listed on any search engine.

We know who our friends are and we're talking to them we're not talking to you, we couldn't care less what a prick thinks.

"Another is you people who make this site are obsessed with porno go have a wank and fuck off the net!"

What are you on? Its the same sort of hate mail, always telling us to go have a wank or to look at some porn. Such an original e-mail.

"Your site is a waste of Cyber Space just go back to masturbating"

Just repeating yourself.

"GOOGLE WILL NEVER LIST YOU!!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR EMPTY SKULL!!!"

I don't make this site for Google, I don't make this site to make money, I don't make this site for hoes like you, and I certainly don't give a fuck how much traffic this site gets!

For all the people who support us this site is for you, don't let people like this hoe get a taste, and if they get rude slap them in the face!

"btw keep my comments anonymous and don't post this message on the net or I will take legal action! I just wanted you to see how rubbish you are."

You obviously don't stand by your comments, if you did you wouldn't mind your e-mail being displayed at our site, so sue me!

Take me to court see if I don't win the case!

To send a letter click here to fill in our web form

Holland Parke School News:     Headmaster hopes the chalk thief reveals his identity, he will not punish this individual he just wants to have a friendly chat with him                  Shock as dinner lady is caught excreting in chocolate Ice Cream                      Rabbi Cokh voted sexiest teacher of the year                        Master John Bater mugged outside pizza shop                         No more toilet paper in school toilet, Headmaster says they're being used for masturbation purposes                                Inspectors day on the 16th please could everyone be on their best behaviour so no one could know what a shit school it really is                          Aligator on the loose in the school swimming pool                           The BBC is filiming a documentary near the school entitled "The drugged up ganglord"                      Broken Piano replaced, students are advised not to have sex on Piano again                            Headmaster urges the student who sneezed outside his office at August 23rd to give himself in, anyone with further information please contact reception                  Last chance to hand over school calendars or face a death sentence                            School Main computer room covered in faeces  

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