 |
Web Hosting by Netfirms | Free Domain Names by Netfirms |
|
|
|
MC FAGHIT © (I hit faggots you get it?)
Two stories Christmas special
Check dis out
“Needs to improve attendance and punctuality, he is falling behind due to his poor attendance. In his last test he scored a miserable 35% and he claims that his actual score should have been 50%, and that someone was “Playa Hating” him.
That’s another thing I am unhappy about, the fact that he uses these slang terms.
Now he is refusing to pay a deposit for the “Mastering biology: by Master John Bater”, text book which is crucial for him if he wishes to pass the next exam!”
-Master John Bater
Letter to Mr. and Mrs. Thompson
Yo, listen up you menz, I don’t know if you heard about what happened to that pussy hole Bater.
It all started when he sent that letter to my drum, the pussy would never chat this to my face. Whenever he wants to get loud he has to do it through Mr. Hal.
I swear I’ve never liked that guy, ever since the day I saw his ugly face I thought to myself I hope that hoe doesn’t teach me.
Then because of my fucking luck I get him to teach me science, the guy don’t know shit, he can’t teach.
Story 2
Mo money mo gayness
I don’t know why everyone is like loving money these days, they don’t care how they get it, as long has they have bare money they’re haps.
This Pussy teacher right he asks me to buy this shit science book, I’m like get off my dick, I don’t need to buy no book to pass the exams, I just go on “BBC bite size” and shit, and then on porno sites.
One thing blad I love to do is search for pictures on Google, why do you think it’s the internet’s number one search engine, that’s right!
So as I said I wasn’t up for buying no gay book that costs £50, they even give it a rago name, they call it a deposit.
I was in the toilet bussing a Richards (having a shit) and suddenly he comes into the toilet saying how he’s vexed at me and how I was an ignorant boy.
I said “Watch when I come out brejin, your going to eat bowl of dicks!”
As soon as I got out the breh ran out the toilet, but I saw him again in class.
He told me to pay up the deposit, so I walked up to him grabbed my dick and told him to “Fuck off!”
Bo! Right in front of the whole class, pier people came up to me telling me about how I was slick.
Then what does he go and do? He sends a letter to my drum as well as getting Mr. Hal to also send a letter.
I was down to my last £1000 and now this guy comes out with, we have to buy some pussy hole book. He thinks he’s the fucking whip just because he’s got a book out!
I rolled the 50 quid in my sock and ducked to school proper early, I saw him chilling as if he won some battle.
I walked in and pied him in the face with the £50 money, and he was stunned, but he ain’t saying shit. And I walked out feeling hyper!
But I couldn’t stop thinking about how I pussied out and gave him that amount of money; my mind kept tripping like I was Ariel Sharon thinking about peace negotiations.
I couldn’t take it anymore I knew I had to strike, like operation desert storm.
So I started gathering bare arms, and I stalked the guy.
Saw him go to Deep pan pizza, he was all haps; I could just imagine him, going home drinking champagne, eating a pizza while chillin in his castle.
Then I saw him about to pay up with my £50 note, so I ran as fast as I could with a hammer and burst into the shop.
I switched, and his face turned white, I grabbed the money and held my nuts up.
Next day at school I heard that the breh got knocked out, he probably pissed off some other breh’s at school, no one likes him in the school bruv.
I was having a shower in the school gym naked; some other breh was also in the school showers naked too.
The breh turned around and slapped my bum, thinking it was jokes, I shouted “Why are you slapping my bum bitch?”
The breh started bussing up; he thought it was funny, so I started punching him.
We were both naked and having a bad boy fight, this wasn’t a pussy fight!
By the time the teachers came to break up the fight we were both on the floor on top of each other. I got myself on top of him and said you “You want some more?”
Man that was some proper rude boy fight.
Later I was organising a gig for the school, and that gay Bater teacher was organising some shit trip.
I didn’t want the breh to chat to my parent’s or to bell up my yard, so I just gave him the same £50 money I jacked him for.
When he saw it I think he realised what had happened and his face turned into Jeremy Paxman, but I ducked out his smelly office and he probably slapped himself.
That same day I caught him in the parking lot and jacked him again, he kept saying “Henry is that you please answer me”.
“Oi blad! Don’t be calling me gay names! I’ll scratch your face up with my keys bitch!” I said.
“Ok I am sorry, sir, I am trying to be as apologetic as I can”. He pussily said.
I let the breh go home and thought to myself I’ve raped this guy’s life man!
Is there a day he doesn’t get jacked?
So anyway here’s my conclusion to that story:
Creep in the night,
Inside your house alright,
Where’s that hoe I got my knife,
Tonight I’m taking a life,
Armed with my AK and Mac 10,
Full equipped to the rim,
Gathering bare arms,
Motherfuckers mouthing off,
Good no alarm,
Time to take someone out,
Shit on his face and piss in his mouth,
He tried hiding,
He tried sucking himself off into a ball,
He was wishing this was ‘fight club’ and I’d beat myself up,
No, I’m getting my revenge,
So I inject myself with a syringe,
I fucked him up like Bruce lee,
Mc Faghit ain’t taking pleas,
I’m like Ariel Sharon but without the ugly face,
And Gay smile, and I’m not overweight,
Don’t list me on Google,
I’ll bitch slap their site of the web!
MC FAGHIT © (I hit faggots you get it?)
The Unforgiven
“The moment this boy opened his mouth we all knew he was a Crum bum, you could tell by the way he pronounced certain words that he was one of those loud mouthed punk kids.
His parents can’t stand him yet they expect us to educate him without exhaustion, this is very difficult as he doesn’t listen to a good word of advice.
We’ve tried our best to teach him but now is the time to say goodbye to Mr. Faghit whatever his name is, that’s another problem we don’t want to mention.
Here are some of the problems he’s caused:
Smoking during lessons and at the playground
Selling crack to pupils
Reading dirty Magazines in the library
Rapping into teachers faces when being given an instruction
Truanting and then making ridiculous excuses e.g. my dad died.
Could someone please tell me how a person can die every week? He’s been using that same excuse all year, sometimes he says his mum died, other times his granddad died. In that case he’s an orphan!”
-Petition for the removal of Henry Thompson 2003
Some proper uptight hoes wrote that about me because they can’t handle my freshness.
I know who them menz are I can go right now stick my nuts in their face and see if they say shit!
Instead they make some pussy petition to try and chuck me out of the school; and now they wanna cancel my gig!
This really vexed me because they said I was going to have a gig and shit!
Story 3
Life of a thug
It’s Tuesday and my dad dropped me off in front of the school gates, I told him to duss, I didn’t want any menz seeing me being driven to school.
Suddenly I see some sexy ladies, and they clock me, but my dad was still starting the car he was going to make me look like a pussy.
“Oi dad blad, listen bitch! This is the last time I am lending you my car!” I shouted.
Swish! The girls must have thought I’m a real dappa and that I’ve got my own car.
They carried on walking I chased them up and said “You have some tight ass hoe, allow that shit let me bang you down, yeah, yeah!”
Before she could say anything I put my finger over her lips and said “Shhhh, I only need to know two things, your name and how you want it”.
“Excuse me I have a boyfriend” she said.
“Well you can have two” I said.
Her and her dumb friend started laughing and walking away I stared at them while getting vexed.
I started screaming at myself “Damn! Fucking damn it! I really wanted to bang her, damn it!”
I couldn’t stop thinking about her and her ass all day, I needed a plan damn it!
For the whole day I was thinking of some chat up lines, I had an assignment from school but I thought to myself fuck that this is way more important than some stupid coursework.
The next day, I saw the same girl walking with her dumb friend again; they were both eating chips and beans at the cafeteria.
I decided to go sit next to them you know try and get to know her.
“Wassup, remember me?” I said.
“Hmm do I care?” She said.
“Bitch show some respect I’ll slap you if you say that, I am bitch killa, I hate sluts, shoot them in the face step back itch my nuts!” I said.
“Whatever” She said in some gay Yankee accent.
“What bitch, you think we’re in Dawson Creek? You better suck my dick till my balls get wet hoe!” I shouted.
All the sudden some pussy comes round with a food tray and it seemed like he knows the two hoes.
“Oi, yo, yo, yo what do you think your doing switching at my girl bruv?” The pussy hole said.
So I walked up to him and placed my forehead against his forehead and said “Oi, yo blad you wanna go, what’s up bitch think you’re a man?”
The pussy started looking at the floor and switching making no eye contact like the pussy he was.
More and more people started gathering round, and then the breh goes to the two hoes, “Hey you two get out of here you don’t wanna see what I’m about to do to this hoe”.
The hoes just left the scene and when he noticed that they bopped off, the guy starts apologising, and he kneeled down to me and kissed my hand.
I told the guy not to get loud again and I told him I wanted to bang his girl, just once.
So we sat down and I told him that I wanted it in writing that I get to bang his girl.
I got the idea from watching “Indecent proposal”, but only in this version I ain’t paying shit!
The guy had some nice handwriting, he passed over the written agreement, and I walked off feeling slick.
It turned out the girls name was Shivon, I really didn’t care I just wanted to bang her! Bo!
I was on a hunt to find her; I was on a mission bruv.
It was like something out of ‘Terminator 2’, I am butt naked and looking to bang a girl, my version is called “Penetrator”.
I’m like an Israeli soldier looking for a terrorist; I’ll wound about a hundred innocent people just to get my target.
I was pushing people out of my way and smacking people who said they didn’t know who Shivon was.
In the end I was well pissed, so I went to the reception and asked the receptionist to announce her name and say that her daddy was waiting for her in the reception
“Would Shivon please make her way to the reception her daddy Mr. Bones is waiting for her” She announced.
No one turned up, so I told the receptionist “Please call her again I really want to bang her”.
“And she’s your daughter?” The receptionist asked.
“Nah I’m a Mac daddy, I’m playing bitches like a game of monopoly” I explained.
“You’re a sad individual aren’t you, goodbye” She chatted.
“I’m sad? What about you hoe? You sit here answering phone calls and you go out with some short ass teacher and you think you have it made? Hoe your life is to serve people so keep yourself in place or I might have to shoot you in the face! WHAT?” I shouted.
“If you don’t leave I am going to call up the head of year, Mr. Bones whatever your name is”.
“Call the head of year; they call them that because they can give the best head in their year, why do you think they call Mr. Hal the head master? It’s because he gives the best head in the entire school, apart from having a shiny head! Bring Mr. Hal even I’ll rub his head like a lamp and make a wish, then I’ll wish for you to suck my dick!” I screamed.
Unfortunately I didn’t notice that the head of year and Mr. Hal were behind me hearing everything I just said. I was stunned for a minute, then I thought why the fuck are they standing behind me breathing on my neck?
They wanna bum me or something?
And you know I’m not gay bruv, so I got vexed and pushed the head of year out the way, and said “Move man!”
The guy thought he was slick, he goes to Mr. Hal “don’t worry I’ll handle this”.
Then he followed me outside the school gates where my dad was waiting to pick me up in the car.
I bopped to toward the car and the guy grabbed me just before I reached the car.
“Excuse me young man, but this time you have gone too far! You will never step foot in the school again, and I will make sure of that!” He said in a sleepy voice.
I knew my dad was getting out of the car so I nicely said “Whatever do you mean sir, what did I do wrong?”
“Just piss off will you I heard it all, piss off go away” He said in an angry voice.
Then suddenly my dad started running towards the teacher like a cheetah, the teacher didn’t know what hit him when my dad broke his favourite umbrella over the head of year’s head.
Then we bopped and left the guy to think about how gay he was.
Some guy will probably see this bitch ass on the floor and throw him some pennies.
When I come to school the next day everyone is all acting loud, I was feeling like I needed to do a roundhouse kick like those kicks in “Double dragon” where you kick everyone in the face at the same time.
To my surprise I was called to Mr. Hal’s office I can’t imagine why, he chatted to me about the regular bullshit.
About how my rich dad was secretly helping Mr. Hal with financial problems because he blew the whole schools budget in about a week, just to fix up his office.
As usual he was going to shut his mouth every time I slapped someone, but this time, he was telling me that there was a petition going round the school.
The petition said those who want me out sign this bullshit.
The problem was this time it wasn’t up to Mr. Hal anymore, it was up to how many people signed the petition.
So now I am hanging on a thread, if bare menz sign this I am out of HPS forever.
I’ll tell you what happens next month!
Here’s my conclusion to that story:
Yo get off me Mr. Hal before I bruise your face,
I let my fists paint the place,
Red,
That’s right I’ll head butt you with my head!
Fuck with me and my dad and we’ll take you out,
You know what the Faghit crew is all about!
I got banned from the school library for eating books,
All the books I borrowed were about crooks,
Ariel Sharon and David Beckham,
If I saw them in public I’d deck em,
50 cent can’t rap,
He can sit on Eminem’s lap,
Fuck S club 7 and the S club 7 juniors,
They can go tour with neutrino and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
Fuck Good Charlotte and fuck Robbie Williams,
Fuck the So Solid crew and fuck Robin Williams!
They all like it up the bum,
Just like Sven Goran Eriksson’s mum.
Chantel, Michelle, and Shivon you’re gonna have to wait,
Cuz all I’m going to do it penetrate,
I know you girls blow men by the dozen,
Like what happened when Mr. Hal went buzzin.
2003 © Holland Parke School