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Pierce Tashio and the Coca Cola shop

After surviving the attack of the Mexicans, my jeans started to rumble and 21 seconds by the so solid crew started to play. I thought Raggo, this is gonna be my yatti, I answered the call…

“easy der itz Small Simon”
“easy Small Simon…wagwanin?”
“nuffin me iz juss chillin, yoo?”
“nuffin, was gonna jack da corner shop l8r tho, come we”
“yeah safe, safe, safe, I iz cumin opposite of left now”

I offed the fone…

(10mins later)
My doorbell went so I jumped from the third step of the stairs and opened the door in one movement. I welcomed opposite of big Simon into my yard and threw him like bitch onto the sofa. I flickety flicked the light switch on and pulled out a scroll from my tights.

The plan:
Leave the house
Jack the shop.

“what a boomlick plan” said Simon

( A few hours later)
We left da yard wid two Halloween masks and a toy hammer. We got 2 da shop and me pick up this nice juicy brick and dash it through the masseeve windows, we started struttin like we was dr dre and tupac in California Love. We went straight for the porno magazines we couldn’t buy from there cos we was nervous. We took our stuffs and jump out the shop and onto my sisters barbie bike which was our getaway, I really felt like a propa gangster.

Half way down da road a motherfunning po-lice! Car starts to chase us, I got out my water gun and started to spray the motherfunners like the motherfunning funety funners they all funning were. The po-lice! Tried to shoot me but I picked the boolet out of da air and dash it back, it was a propa heavy, if you don’t believe me ask anyone.

I got off me sistas bike and dash it in the living room as me and Simon bussed upstairs and started to share da well off goodies.

Dose colar bottels were well heavy.

KNOCK KNOCK!
The door got knocked on, so I jump from da top step to be flexed by some two po-lice! Officas.
“easy bluds!”
One of the po-lice! Turn me round like I was dancing with Ricky Martin and handcuff me proper.

(Sunday morning)
I was in a jail sell me thort I was gonna starve dey try and feed yoo some proper cack food. Some breh told me I got visitors…
It was Small Simon, he got off becos he said he’d set up the police wid some bear arms and ammo. I felt like slappin him for not getting me off the hook…so I did slap him…he got some propa borah and started cuttin me leg like a spud.

Preview of Pierce Tashio’s next tale…
I woke up in da hospital and some guy started 2 stroke me tellin me its all mint….

Holland Parke School News: Headmaster hopes the chalk thief reveals his identity, he will not punish this individual he just wants to have a friendly chat with him Shock as dinner lady is caught excreting in chocolate Ice Cream Rabbi Cokh voted sexiest teacher of the year Master John Bater mugged outside pizza shop No more toilet paper in school toilet, Headmaster says they're being used for masturbation purposes Inspectors day on the 16th please could everyone be on their best behaviour so no one could know what a shit school it really is Aligator on the loose in the school swimming pool The BBC is filiming a documentary near the school entitled "The drugged up ganglord" Broken Piano replaced, students are advised not to have sex on Piano again Headmaster urges the student who sneezed outside his office at August 23rd to give himself in, anyone with further information please contact reception Last chance to hand over school calendars or face a death sentence School Main computer room covered in faeces